Skyborn is a sprawling epic fantasy novel inspired by several ancient African civilizations, as well as Near-Eastern history and mythology. It follows a war spanning continents as the powerful Almyrian empire battles to maintain its grip on the native civilizations of a land mass they have ostensibly named The Outlands.
Hi TQ. Got some feedback for you.
1) Your prose is clean and engaging. I like the flow of your writing, and it immediately grabbed me. Not flattering here – if the prose of a speculative fiction piece isn’t good, I put it down immediately regardless of how interesting the premise seems.
2) Pacing. Most of the excerpt is paced well, with a mix of exposition and action. However, there are paragraphs where I feel you could better intersperse what is happening in the story with descriptions. There’s a good balance between action (dialogue included) and description, but if more happened and Dembei did/said more I think it would benefit the excerpt.
3) Enjoyed the ending. That last line is a killer hook, and I really want to know more about Dembei.
4) Many lines I just enjoyed reading. It’s a good piece of writing, and I’ll sincerely be keen to follow more.
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Hi @theurbaneagle, thank you so much for your feedback and I’m glad you like the excerpt. I will definitely take your recommendations into consideration. 🙂
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